How can I get more blog traffic?

This is quite possibly the most frequently asked question in the blogosphere. How can I get more traffic?

I KNOW how I could get more traffic. I would have to start out by writing about things that are more interesting than math! But then I could add:

• Photos of an attractive person of either gender, in a fast-looking car. Like this VW GX3 Trike, and this Lotus M250,  both promised (and shown) but never offered for sale.

• Food is always popular. I would tell you how to make this healthy salad with heirloom tomatoes, extra-virgin olive oil, marble potatoes, spring mix greens and artisan balsalmic vinegar. Not forgetting the home-baked bread made with stone-ground hard winter wheat from Bob's Red Mill:

• We could mention a few celebrity names - they're always good for a few clicks:
Miley, Ricky, Dolly, Billy-Bob, etc.

 
• Put in some song lyrics (I think lyrics is the most-searched-on word of all time):   
There is a city of gold ~ Far from the rat-race that eats at your soul ~ Far from the madness and the bars that hold ~ There is a city, a city of gold       
• Start a discussion on a notorious topic:  
Wanna buy some Goldman Sachs housing bond CDOs?

 
• Throw in some tips on Windows7: 
Migrating from Win98, NT and 2000 in 20 minutes or less!

 
• Do a review of the iPad:
Getting the iPad's virtual camera to work correctly

 
• Cover some sporting events:
  Curling, anyone?

Then I would have to add a few punchy jokes. And some winning stock picks. And horse racing tips.  I'd link to lots of other sites too. Some of the links would take my readers to places that astonish and amaze them. (First I would have to find those places, though ...)

Of course, I would link to a few movies on YouTube. Here's one I took myself. It involves fast cars, designers dressed in black, bright lights, snappy drum playing, smoke and mirrors, wow!



This is a lot of work. And there's no room for math. You came here for math, right? To learn how to use that stuff you studied so hard to learn all those years ago ...

I look at the viewings of my old posts and wonder, Why are these the most popular?  The stars appear to be:

1. Why does ink cost so much?
2. Scoville Units (hot chili peppers)
3. Some are more equal than others